Fushigi Yuugi one shots
by Izuka
Summary: This is a collection of fushigi yuugi short stories. Mostly about Miaka and Tama home. R&R! Warning- bashing. I have included some of my other oneshots already updated.
1. What the hell is Love!

**WHAT THE HELL IS LOVE?**

Miaka and Tama home were calling each other. They were barely 5 years old.

"Miaka!"

"Tama home!"

"Miaka!"

"Tama home!"

"Miaka!"

"Tama home!"

"Miaka!"

"Tama home!"

"Miaka!"

"Tama home!"

"Miaka!"

"Tama home!"

"Miaka!"

"Tama home!"

"Miaka!"

"Tama home!"

"Miaka!"

"Tama home!"

"Miaka!"

"Tama home!"

"Miaka!"

"Tama home!"

"Miaka!"

"Tama home!"

"Miaka!"

"Tama home!"

"Miaka!"

"Tama home!"

"Miaka!"

"Tama home!"

"Miaka!"

"Tama home!"

**AFTER 3 HOURS-**

"Tama (yawn) home."

"Mia (groan) ka!"

Both of them looked wearily up and said in a bored tone,

"I louve you."

Miaka leapt up.

"WHAT! YOU'RE SHAYIN IT NOW?" She screamed.

"I WASH GOING THO ASHK YOU THE SHAME THING!" He yelled.

"NO! I'll shay it firsht thish time! I lowve you!"

Tama home grinned happily.

"I louve you, Piggy!"

"I lowve you too, Ugly!"

Both of them were laughing.

"Um, dweawy?"

"Yesh, shweethart?"

"WILL AENYONE TELL ME WHAT LOUVE MEANSH?"

"I'll kwiss and shew you!" said Miaka leaning forward.

"EW! NO WANT PIGGY GERMS!" he bawled. Miaka sniffed and burst into tears.

"OH BOO HOO!" she frowned and wailed, "OH BAAHAA! WAH HAH!"

"I louve you!" said Tama home anxiously. Miaka smiled and stopped crying. "But owat doesh louve mean?"

"WAH! WAH! OH BAHHAH!" Miaka ran away crying. Once she tripped and fell face forward into a pile of cow dung.

Tama home scowled and went home.

"Tama home! Do you want ten cookies?" called his mother. Tama home nodded happily. Stuffing his mouth with cookies, he said,

"This is the twue mweaning of louve!"


	2. The reincarnation of the Pig

**THE REINCARNATION OF THE PIG**

Tama home- 5 years old.

Miaka- 4 years old.

"Who is there?" asked Tama home fearfully. (A/N- I am NOT making them lisp)

A grunting noise made him turn round. A big fat flabby pig was heading towards him.

"Oh Tama home! It's me! Miaka! Oh Tama home! I love you!" the pig grunted in a nosy tone.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Tama home screamed.

"Remember the pig that used to follow you faithfully? And in the end you killed it for food? I am that pig!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

"I am Miaka! The reincarnation of the pig!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

--

"Tama home! Don't scream like that!" simpered Miaka. Tama home woke up from his nightmarish nightmare.

"You!" he said.

"Yes?"

"You!"

"Yes?"

"You!"

"Yes?"

"You!"

"Yes?"

"You!"

"Yes?"

"You!"

"Yes?"

"You!"

"Yes?"

"You!"

"Yes?"

"You!"

"Yes?"

"You!"

"Yes?"

"You!"

"Yes?"

"You!"

"Yes?"

"You!"

"Yes?"

"You!"

"Yes?"

"You!"

"Yes?"

"You!"

"Yes?"

"You pig!"

"WHAAAAT!!"

"You fat pig!" Miaka burst into tears.

"How could you, Tama home!"

"You evil reincarnation of a pig!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT! BAAAAHH! WAHHH! WAAAH!" Miaka bawled. "I am leaving you! But I love you!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! THE PIG IS EATING ME!"

Miaka sniffed and stabbed herself with a dagger and died.

Tama home blinked and looked at Miaka and screamed,

"YAY! THE PIG IS DEAD!"

Then he stopped and scratching his head said,

"What's a pig and what does it look like again?!"


	3. Chapter 3

katiw

"_**Did I say that out loud?"**_

"Miaka!"

"Yes, Tama Home?"

Tama Home gazed at her.

"You look like a pig!"

"What!!"

Tama Home covered his mouth.

"Did I say that out loud?"

"Yes you did!" Miaka burst into tears.

"You look like an ugly baby!"

"What!!"

Tama Home covered his mouth.

"Did I say that out loud?"

"You-you-

"You can't even talk properly! I suppose it's because you're fat!"

"I heard you! How dare you! Boo hooo!" Miaka started crying.

"You sound like a sheep!" he said.

"Aahaaahh!"

"You really do!"

"I'm going to kill you!"

"Will you be able to move fast enough? I doubt it! You'll fall."

A second later, Miaka looked at Tama home's head with a hole in the middle.

"Oh Tama Home! I killed you!" She sobbed. "Now who's going to cook my chickens for me? Boo hoo!"

A second later, Miaka had a hole in the middle of her face.

She was dreaming that, in hell, Tama Home was eating all her fried chickens.


	4. Chapter 4

katiw

_**The (not at all) Tragic Separation of Miaka and Tama Home**_

Miaka looked out at the sunrise and murmured,

"Isn't it beautiful?"

Tama Home rolled his eyes and said gritting his teeth,

"Not as beautiful as the one I am standing near!"

"Oh Tama _Home!_" cried Miaka blushing.

Tama Home pasted a phony affectionate smile on his face.

"Let's eat!" he said. "I'm hungry!"

Miaka nodded.

"Mmm…this chicken's so nice Tama Home!"

"Why thank you." said Tama Home. Then he screamed,

"Where is my chicken?"

Miaka grinned and said,

"Uh-oh! I-um-ate it!"

"WHAT!!"

"Sorry, but I was soooo hungry!!"

Tama Home stood up.

"I detest you, Miaka! I do! I do!"

Miaka felt tears prickling her eyes and stood up and hugged him.

"I'm sorry."

Tama Home forgave her and broke loose of her hug.

Miaka closed her eyes and bent her head towards him.

"Tama Home." She murmured.

"Yes?"

"Tama Home." She murmured.

"Yes?"

"Tama Home." She murmured.

"Yes?"

"Tama Home." She murmured.

"Yes?"

"Tama Home." She murmured.

"What the hell, woman hell, IS IT?"

Miaka looked at him sadly and said,

"I love you!"

Tama Home with difficulty said,

"And I you!"

Miaka bent her head towards him again to kiss him.

Then-

She opened her eyes and screamed.

In front of her was a monster!

"Where's Tama Home! You ate him!" she cried. "Give Tama Home back! _Give Tama Home back_! _Give Tama Home back_!" Then through her nose she cried, "_Give Tama Home back! Give Tama Home back! Give Tama Home back! _He owned me a huge dinner with pork! He owned me chickens and-"

The monster only grinned at her.

Then it stretched its arms and ate her up.

Tama Home suddenly turned up, kissed the monster and cried,

"Oh! Hottuhoru! I mean Horuhottu! I mean Hotohori! Dear Hotty! Thank you. Thank you!"

The monster unchained himself and Hotohori came out.

"It was my pleasure." He said.

Then Tama Home lived happily forever without Miaka and with enough food.


	5. Chapter 5

THE SMELL

THE SMELL

"Miaka!" cried Tama Home overwhelmed.

"Yes!" cried Miaka gleefully. She was wearing a red Kimono. From her, came a strong sweet smell of perfume which Tama Home could smell quite distinctly.

"Did you just let out that awful stinking smell?" he asked wrinkling up his nose. "I thought that your stomach wasn't alright from eating that feast!"

Miaka grew red in the face from anger.

"How dare you even _think_ of such a thing?!" Then with vicious sarcasm-

"I can see that you made a very lucky guess! EH?"

"Did I?" asked Tama Home hopefully.

"NO!" screamed Miaka.

"K, K! Shish! But first, let me get out of this awful smelly room." He said.

""You're not going anywhere!" cried Miaka holding his arm.

Tama Home coughed and held his breath.

Miaka glared at him.

Tama Home slowly turned blue in the face and began to choke.

"Breathe Tama Home ! Breathe!" Cried Miaka with sudden fear.

Tama Home died ignoring her.

"Tama Hom-hom-e-e!" sobbed Miaka. Then she got up with a lot of dignity.

"I'm not going to let you go! I will follow you!" Then she stabbed herself with a knife.

Before dying, she groaned-

"I forgot! It _was_ me! But still, there _might _be chickens in heaven!"


	6. Chapter 6

HIS NIGHTMARE

"Oh Tama Home!"

"Miaka?"

Tama Home wheeled round wildly.

Miaka was running towards him gracefully with her arms outspread.

Tama Home jumped to his feet and started to run away.

"Mammmy!" he screamed.

"Wait, Tama Home! Wa-a-a-a-a-i-i-i-i-i-it!!"

Tama Home screamed again.

"The pig's coming to get me!" he shrieked.

Immediately, Miaka began to drool.

"Tumu! Tumu Humu love!"

"Get away from me!"

"Tama Home! Tama Home! Are you alright!"

Tama Home opened his eyes to see Miaka bending over him looking very concerned.

"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" He gave such a scream that Miaka was flung out of the window!

"What was that for?" asked Miaka rubbing her head.

"Get away from me! You PIG!"

Miaka's face crumpled up and she began to cry.

"Ta-Ta-Tama Ho-m-m-me! Bahh! Bahh!"

"AIEE! Now the pig's a sheep!" Tama Home cried. Then closing his eyes, he prayed-

"Oh God so merciful! Please save me!"

Miaka began to howl. She cried-

"THAT'S IT! I am going, Ta-Ta-Tama Ho-m-m-me!"

"AIEEEEEE-

"For heaven's sake!" Miaka suddenly snapped. "I am going!"

Then she shot herself with a gun.

Tama Home suddenly woke up properly and came to his senses.

"What a nightmare!"

Then he saw Miaka.

"Miaka? Fat Miaka?" Then he realized what had happened.

"YESSS!" he yelled in delight. "No haunting me ever again!!"

A white transparent figure suddenly came out of Miaka.

"Tama Home!"

"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

AFTERWORD

Tama Home died of Miaka disease and Miaka's ghost died after hearing his scream.


End file.
